November 6, 2009

Things That Are Awesome

Last minute half-days. Especially on a Friday. If only I had something better to do than leaf removal…

You know what sucks?

Waking up at 7:05, remembering that it’s Saturday, going back to sleep because you can sleep in, then waking up ten minutes later and remembering that it is actually Friday and you cannot sleep as late as you want, and realizing that it’s now time to wake up for work. Terrible, terrible way to start your day.

November 5, 2009

Happy Guy Fawkes Day, Everybody!

Daily Moron Update

I just pointed out a glaring omission that my company has in one of our product lines. Without going into detail, this omission would have seriously compromised our credibility among our customers. Everyone seemed really happy about this, except the woman in charge of this project, because it was her oversight that caused the omission. She just came over and tried to read me the riot act for pointing this out, because it made her look really bad.

Naturally, I just laughed at her. Dumbass.

November 4, 2009

Random Convsersation

  • Me: You know what I would like to do?
  • Laura: What?
  • Me: You know how when someone goes missing they organize a search party?
  • Laura: Yes
  • Me: I'd like to be a searcher. I think it would be fun
  • Laura: What are you, a bloodhound?
  • Me: You get to walk through the woods
  • Laura: Yes...
  • Me: Would be a nice day outside
  • Laura: Awesome!... Until you stumble on a fresh decapitated head
  • Me: Yeah, the downside is possibly finding the raped and murdered body of a missing young woman, but still
  • Laura: True... I mean, how often do they find them?
  • Me: Not very. So I guess I am saying, I'd like to go hiking, but I'd like to have a reason to go hiking

Fun Prank To Play On Salespeople In Your Office

Call their extension from your cell phone, disguise your voice, and make them think they are getting a lay down sale. String them along for a while, then suddenly lose interest and end the call. It never gets old.

Seriously, I Hate Him

Uber-douche coworker Cam has topped himself yet again. One of the cool things that my company does is make the day after Thanksgiving a company holiday. Cam just said, in a quick morning meeting, that he doesn’t really care to have that day off, and that he thinks the company should make people who want the day off use a vacation day.

Even the second biggest suck-up douche in the meeting was giving him the death look. He hasn’t been this unpopular since the 4th grade, when he successfully lobbied to have the school day lengthened by 20 minutes.

November 3, 2009

And an even better version of Poker Face. Move over, Walken.

I am comfortable enough with my masculinity to post this video and say that I really like this song. I don’t speak french, though. Any idea what she’s saying? (I assume it’s about me, no?)

ecams:

Christopher Walken’s dramatic reading of “Poker Face”

I think I appreciate this song more now.