June 2012
May 2012
Big Mayo Will Destroy Us All →
I hate mayonnaise. I hate it, and I’ve hated it my entire life. But I can’t seem to escape it. You mayo-haters out there know what I mean. You walk into a restaurant, you order something and say, “but no mayo,” then when it’s delivered to you not only is there mayo on it, there is an OFFENSIVE amount of mayo on it
I second this entire post, and would like to add...
Conflict Resolution
Living in the city, you tend to bump up against people pretty often, and because people suck in general, some of these people are going to get angry with you for some trivial reason, like your dog getting too close to a jogger on the sidewalk, or dropping something in someone’s garbage can by their house, or bumping a car while parallel parking. It’s inevitable at some point that...
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My reaction when someone tries to convince me that...
soyeahduh:
Spoken like someone for whom Rush and Division is more their scene.
Do people actually pay for virus protection?
If not, what free programs do y’all recommend?
Anonymous asked: Going to be in Cincinati for about an hour. What should I do? Skyline chili? Also, anything worth stopping for on the route from Cincinati to Chicago?
Anonymous asked: Tucker Max isn't original and you are? Please elaborate.
A Final Story About Loud Guy
I still keep in touch with a few of my coworkers from my last job, and they passed along this wonderfully entertaining tidbit about Loud Guy, my nemesis at that company.
So, not long before I quit in December, Loud Guy was given a promotion, of sorts. Not a big promotion, more of a lateral transfer that was a very slight step up, but it was something he badly coveted. There was a catch, however;...
brian-k asked: About the "shady practices" at your work, did it get resolved or at least did you get a bonus to keep your mouth shut?
Thursday Things (It's an alliteration! Get it?!?)
I got a very nasty message from someone regarding this post. Apparently he thought that was my car and I was bragging about my awful parking job. Really dude? How are people that dumb?
I generally like my boss, I honestly have no complaints about him, except he always says “let’s have a rockstar day!” I assume this is tacit consent to drink and/or do cocaine at work.
Izzy is...
Real Talk
I’ve seen Star Wars once. I was 19. I didn’t care for it.
Perhaps I would feel differently had I seen it as a child. And perhaps y’all wouldn’t be having collective nerdgasm if you hadn’t seen it until you were all grown up.
God I can be such a killjoy.
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I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY PEOPLE HATE ZOOEY DESCHANEL...
She’s making money off of an aesthetic that she didn’t create, and all the other people who didn’t create the aesthetic but nevertheless adopted it are mad because they’re just spending money to keep the aesthetic fresh while she’s all rich and shit.
I’m through the looking glass here, people.
/as you were.
No YOU Think Too Much
So there is this situation that’s been bothering me just a little. It’s not a big deal at all, it’s a completely minor and otherwise meaningless detail of life, so much so that I’ll spare you the particulars for the sake of brevity.
But still, despite the small scale nature of the situation, it’s unresolved, and I like resolutions. I had resigned myself to knowing...
This is going to come as a shocker, you guys
But I am starting to think that frequency of blogging is inversely proportional to real life satisfaction.
Color me surprised as anyone about this revelation. Who knew? Good shit happening in real life = less desirous to publish stupid thoughts, observations, and memes. Huh. Oh well.
Besides, y’all probably don’t want to read about someone being happy. Doesn’t fit the medium.
April 2012
People Are The Worst Part 4,267
I think I’m going to start a dating website matching all the dudes who made racist Ward tweets with the girls who made racist Rue tweets. And then force sterilization.
Larry David Moment
Standing in the tiny kitchen of my office, waiting for a pot of coffee to finish brewing, and the frazzled, overworked, and (probably) underpaid administrative assistant to EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE comes in.
Awkward silence ensues as FO(P)UAA also waits for the coffee to finish. A large pile of unwashed dishes sits in the sink. I see her looking at the pile, so in an attempt to break the silence, I...
Thoughts?
Because I’m just killing time until I go watch the Reds play….
Do you think exclamation points are more feminine than masculine? Why, when reading the words a man has written, do an excess of exclamation points feminize him and made him seem like a pussy? Is there any other punctuation that seems gender biased? Can a real man actually exclaim something and still be a man? Has Ron...
Levon Helm - Tennessee Jed
Thing that occurred...
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